5 Things you find in EVERY single guys apartment

As the serial dater of the station I've noticed the same 5 things in every guys apartment...

Good things? Absolutely not. These are terrible tragic side effects of having no sense of style or ability to take care of yourself. I'm sorry if this offends you... if it does... you're too lonely.

5. An ikea table that is black or brown

Things this one through... a weird small square table in the corner that's dark. It doesn't even have to be from iKea, it could be from his moms basement. Men tend to collect furniture that's dark and gloomy. Almost ALWAYS they have a black couch. A guy with a bright piece of furniture is essentially a unicorn- just give up on those being real.

Lets move on..so many WORSE things to find

4-Random change laying around

Why do you guys do this? Random wads of cash laying around a mans apartment. On the dresser, kitchen counter, bathroom sink. Do you guys not own wallets? Is this a strategy to show people you have cash? Or do you think somehow a wad of cash laying on your counter looks good? PUT IT SOMEWHERE. This is just reckless behavior.

counter...YOU BET. like dollar bills and wads of cash on a dresser or a kitchen counter. Don’t you guys have wallets?! 

3- Ketchup packets in the fridge… but that’s it.

No real food. None. A random assortment of condiments in the fridge seems to do the trick. Any greens? absolutely not. Looking for a mild sauce packet from Tbell? Yeah it's probably there. The freezer definitely has frozen pizza, but even that is most likely freezer brunt.


2- Some type of video game system

..and the wires are always tangled and showing. Do they have a plant thriving in the corner? No. Just a video game system and TV that is clearly too big for the living room. Any chance those wires are organized? No. Not at all.

1- A two in one shampoo and conditioner

How do you guys have a all-in-one shampoo and conditioner but we have to buy a certain type of oil for each hour of the day? I give up with this one. If you look in a mans shower and you see more than one bottle...marry him. There's only one of them out there...

I saw face oils at a guys house the other day and I'm pretty sure I'm still in cardiac shock

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